My heart

I can't begin to explain how much God has changed me since just a few weeks ago. I have a heart for the lost like I never have before. Honestly, the reason I do is because God turned this depressed, hopeless, woman who wanted to die every single day of her life into a woman who wants to live and not only that, but to live with purpose. If you would've talked to me just a few weeks ago, I would've told you that I'll probably be depressed the rest of my life. The doctor pretty much told me that this was the case. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder back in 2005--the year I graduated from high school. The Lord said other-wise. Yes, I'll probably take a pill for the rest of my life, but do I have to be depressed and suicidal? I'll tell you, God has given me so much joy. If you were to look at me now, you would see a woman who knows she is loved by her Savior and desires for everyone she comes in contact with to know Him too. I have suffered from depression for the past 9 or so years of my life. I got told the same thing over and over until it was programmed in my head. There's no hope. This I tell you, I am free from this depression and am filled with so much joy and peace. The truth is, it was sin that kept me from enjoying the fruit of the Spirit. The Lord has shown me that He allowed me to go through the wilderness just like the Israelites because I had refused to listen and believe His word. I wanted to do it my own way. I believed what others said about me above what He says about me. I've had a perfectionist attitude and believed that I was a failure if I didn't perform perfectly. God in his mercy has not only rescued and made me his child, but has set me free from sin that had swallowed me. Yes, I was saved from Hell when I was a 7 year old child. But, had refused to believe or obey the King of my heart. How could he rescue me from fear, anger, anxiety, and discouragement if I had refused to listen? My heart has definitely done a 180 degree turn! I have been asking the Lord where He could use my life to get the most glory. I know that as I follow Him in even the small areas in my life that He will make His way clear. I would appreciate your prayers as I seek to honor the Lord that I would continue to fight discouragement that has been such a battle. I have found that His grace is truly enough! And may my journey continue to bring me out “like silver refined.” May You, Jehovah, receive all the glory and honor. For it is truly due to Your Name!