Psalm 121: Where Will My Help Come From?

"I lift my eyes toward the mountains.
Where will my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not allow your foot to slip;...
your Protector will not slumber.
Indeed, the Protector of Israel
does not slumber or sleep.
The Lord protects you;
the Lord is a shelter right by your side.
The sun will not strike you by day
or the moon by night.
The Lord will protect you from all harm;
He will protect your life.
The Lord will protect your coming and going
both now and forever."

{Psalm 121}

 

Too often I don't find my help in the Lord. Instead, I sink deep into despair. Even on Facebook, I don't completely share what's going on in my life. The raw feelings that I feel. And I strongly believe that that's okay. I should be going to the Lord first, before anyone else. However, it's not okay to not be real and pretend that my life is perfect. Too often, myself and most everyone, for that matter, portray that they have a perfect life. We all know that that's not so. I'm so thankful that with God, I don't have to put on a strong face. He already knows what I'm thinking and how I'm feeling at any given time. I, too often, make prayer soo complicated. I'm learning that I don't even have to say any words with God 'cause He knows my thoughts. He sees my tears. He's my Protector and He knows exactly what I need.

Change

If you're like me at all, you're not much for things changing. Change is uncomfortable. It leaves one filled with uncertainty. However, I believe our God allows circumstances to change so that we as human beings don't rely on anything or anyone other than God Himself. I often find myself uneasy and even trying to cling to the familiar. God doesn't want that for us, as His children. Relying or trusting in anything or anyone other than the Lord is not only unhealthy, but can cause others to become our idols. God knows that our hearts are wayward and He desires our utmost attention and affections. Anything that we put before God or desire more than Him is an idol.

 

Pretty much, God has been trying to get my attention. God hasn't completely removed everything that I've been trying to find my security in, but I believe it could come to that. I've been running to and confiding in people other than the One that cares about me the most. Just even the idea of people in my life moving away or leaving me, has revealed what I've put my security in. It's okay to not want people to move away, but for me to cling to the familiarity and find my security in people can be very detrimental to my relationship with God.

Surrender

Most of you know that I've been in limbo for the last couple of years. I still don't know what the Lord wants me to do with my life career-wise. And that's okay. I'm done with my own agenda. My own plans. As of today, I've surrendered my hopes and dreams to God--Whose dreams are way better than I can even imagine. In the past, I have asked God what exactly He wanted me to do with my life. But, since I didn't receive an audible answer from Heaven, I have held on the hope that I would teach English as a Second Language (ESL) abroad. This hasn't happened yet, but it doesn't necessarily mean it won't ever happen. I just have to trust God. Trust God's timing. His plans--not my own. So, if I could get you to pray for me. It's going to be a challenge for me--to not be in control anymore. God not only wants me to trust Him with my dreams, but also to trust Him during the whole waiting process.

Fullness of Joy

So often, when I pray, I ask something from God--like for example, material possessions or help with this or that. My prayer is rarely that I want His presence. "I Want Your Presence" is a song by Bethany Dillon that I've found that describes my renewed desire for God, my longing for Him. Ever since yesterday when I decided to start spending less time on Facebook, I've discovered that just being in God's presence brings me so much joy. The God of the Universe not only loves and delights in me, but He wants to spend quality time with me. Unintentionally, I have ignored God beckoning me to Himself. So many idols and distractions, so many fake imitations of God have left me empty and wanting.

Psalm 16:11 shares what brings authentic joy: You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. I've been a child of God since I was seven years old, but I've fallen prey to the many fake replicas of what can bring true satisfaction. I've now tasted and seen that the Lord is good!(Psalm 34:8). I've also fallen prey to the idea that falling in love or getting married will fill my emptiness. Marriage shouldn't be my life goal. My ultimate goal should be Christ. God has been convicting me of the false notions I've believed about marriage. Marriage isn't primarily for a couple's happiness. Marriage consists of two sinners; not complete saints. Apart from Christ, we will all be left wanting. Nothing can satisfy like Jesus can!