God's Unending Faithfulness

God is so faithful! I officially turned in all seven of my papers in yesterday--five article summaries and two major research papers. I feel so relieved to be done! Now I await the final results. This will complete my undergraduate level journey from 2005-2010. These past five years have been some of the hardest times of my life, but also some of the most rewarding. I now can see how God's hand was all over my decision to go to Jacksonville College for 2.5 years and then Central Baptist College for 2.5 more years.

I can't wait to see what God has in store for the next five years. There are several options of what I may do next. But, nothing is in concrete. I would appreciate your prayers. I have school loans to pay back and so I've been praying that God would provide a job that pays more than I make at Wal-Mart. I also wanted to thank all of you who have prayed for or encouraged me over the past five years. God has truly blessed me with some wonderful family and friends.

Who Loves You?

My Child,
You may not know me, but I know everything about you. Psalm 139:1

I know when you sit down and when you rise up. Psalm 139:2

I am familiar with all your ways. Psalm 139:3

Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. Matthew 10:29-31

For you were made in my image. Genesis 1:27

In me you live and move and have your being. Acts 17:28

For you are my offspring. Acts 17:28

I knew you even before you were conceived. Jeremiah 1:4-5

I chose you when I planned creation. Ephesians 1:11-12

You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book. Psalm 139:15-16

I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live. Acts 17:26

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14

I knit you together in your mother's womb. Psalm 139:13

And brought you forth on the day you were born. Psalm 71:6

I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me. John 8:41-44

I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love. 1 John 4:16

And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. 1 John 3:1

Simply because you are my child and I am your Father. 1 John 3:1

I offer you more than your earthly father ever could. Matthew 7:11

For I am the perfect father. Matthew 5:48

Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand. James 1:17

For I am your provider and I meet all your needs. Matthew 6:31-33

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. Jeremiah 29:11

Because I love you with an everlasting love. Jeremiah 31:3

My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore. Psalms 139:17-18

And I rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17

I will never stop doing good to you. Jeremiah 32:40

For you are my treasured possession. Exodus 19:5

I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul. Jeremiah 32:41

And I want to show you great and marvelous things. Jeremiah 33:3

If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me. Deuteronomy 4:29

Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

For it is I who gave you those desires. Philippians 2:13

I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine. Ephesians 3:20

For I am your greatest encourager. 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. Psalm 34:18

As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart. Isaiah 40:11

One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes. Revelation 21:3-4

And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth. Revelation 21:3-4

I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus. John 17:23

For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed. John 17:26

He is the exact representation of my being. Hebrews 1:3

He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you. Romans 8:31

And to tell you that I am not counting your sins. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19

Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19

His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you. 1 John 4:10

I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love. Romans 8:31-32

If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me. 1 John 2:23

And nothing will ever separate you from my love again. Romans 8:38-39

Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen. Luke 15:7

I have always been Father, and will always be Father. Ephesians 3:14-15

My question is…Will you be my child? John 1:12-13

I am waiting for you. Luke 15:11-32

Love, Your Dad.

Almighty God

Get Back Up Again

Tonight I received one of the toughest blows from the Enemy since I was freed from anxiety and insecurity about two months ago. However, I'm thankful for it because it showed me where I was weak. It's crazy how allowing even one lie to slip in can change one's perspective on life within minutes. I believe that's why God put 2 Corinthians 10:5 in the Bible, especially the end of it. "...and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." That's where I messed up tonight. I believed what the Devil was telling me over what my Savior was telling me. Jesus was telling me to not be anxious even though one of my eyes was beet red. He wanted me to believe what He said--to not care what people think even though I thought they were staring at me because my eye was so red. As a cashier, there is so much stress anyway--to keep smiling even when you're having a rough day. I was able to get through a lot of the night when I had my eyes focused on the Lord and His Word. But, when my eyes slipped I felt myself sinking like Peter the disciple when He walked on water. I'm so thankful for tonight, though, like I mentioned before. It was so rough, but God has taught me a lot. To get back up even when I fall down and that I can completely trust Him in even the smallest areas of my life. Hopefully, all this happening tonight has cured me from ever sleeping in my contacts ever again. I can be so stubborn at times!

One of the biggest lessons I learned tonight is that the Devil is not going down without a fight. He doesn't like the fact that the Lord has been working on my heart or the fact that I'm being a light for the Lord at work. I've got to be alert and ready because the Devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8).

The title of this particular blog is inspired by Toby Mac's song, "Get Back Up." It reminds me that when I fall and I will, to get back up because God is waiting to continue to use my struggles to conform me into the image of His Son. And for that I am forever grateful that God doesn't give up on any of His children.

My heart

I can't begin to explain how much God has changed me since just a few weeks ago. I have a heart for the lost like I never have before. Honestly, the reason I do is because God turned this depressed, hopeless, woman who wanted to die every single day of her life into a woman who wants to live and not only that, but to live with purpose. If you would've talked to me just a few weeks ago, I would've told you that I'll probably be depressed the rest of my life. The doctor pretty much told me that this was the case. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder back in 2005--the year I graduated from high school. The Lord said other-wise. Yes, I'll probably take a pill for the rest of my life, but do I have to be depressed and suicidal? I'll tell you, God has given me so much joy. If you were to look at me now, you would see a woman who knows she is loved by her Savior and desires for everyone she comes in contact with to know Him too. I have suffered from depression for the past 9 or so years of my life. I got told the same thing over and over until it was programmed in my head. There's no hope. This I tell you, I am free from this depression and am filled with so much joy and peace. The truth is, it was sin that kept me from enjoying the fruit of the Spirit. The Lord has shown me that He allowed me to go through the wilderness just like the Israelites because I had refused to listen and believe His word. I wanted to do it my own way. I believed what others said about me above what He says about me. I've had a perfectionist attitude and believed that I was a failure if I didn't perform perfectly. God in his mercy has not only rescued and made me his child, but has set me free from sin that had swallowed me. Yes, I was saved from Hell when I was a 7 year old child. But, had refused to believe or obey the King of my heart. How could he rescue me from fear, anger, anxiety, and discouragement if I had refused to listen? My heart has definitely done a 180 degree turn! I have been asking the Lord where He could use my life to get the most glory. I know that as I follow Him in even the small areas in my life that He will make His way clear. I would appreciate your prayers as I seek to honor the Lord that I would continue to fight discouragement that has been such a battle. I have found that His grace is truly enough! And may my journey continue to bring me out “like silver refined.” May You, Jehovah, receive all the glory and honor. For it is truly due to Your Name!